Monthly Archives: August 2006

Honesty, still the best policy

I was watching Primetime last week and they were talking about “AIDS in the Black Community”. By the time the show ended I was ticked off.

It’s a known fact that despite the fact that Blacks are only 13% of the population, they account for 50% of infected persons in the whole country.

Whenever people talk about AIDS it’s always seen as an ‘African disease’. Celebs pack their LV bags, get on a private jet and then come over to the supposed “black continent” and tell us to use protection bla bla bla and then come back to their mansions feeling like they have done their duty to mankind- (brownie points with God?!, dunno.)

It was quite interesting to see how very little leaders in this country know about AIDS in their own back yard (Vice-president included).

What was sad in the documentary is how Black men have become such misogynists. The most infected and affected people are young black women between the ages of 25-45.

Why are they getting infected at such a higher rate? Well one of the reasons offered ,apart from using tainted drug needles, was heterosexual relations with men who were are practicing the down-low lifestyle.
They interviewed several men who are gay, bisexual and straight. One of them said that he knew that he had AIDS as a result of his gay lifestyle but still went ahead and infected his wife of 16 years, who had no knowledge of his status. He said that she was so mad at him after she found out that she refused to take medication.

There were other several sad stories with the same theme: Women infected by their husbands and boyfriends who engaged in alternative lifestyles.

I know that there are several things that are against the black man in America: black on black violence that has gotten out of hand, unemployment,imprisonment,lack of education, etc.
But you would think that will all these things against him, black men would at least be honest about their sexuality. I know most guys say that carrying a condom to go have sex with another guy is admitting to yourself that you are gay, so they would rather put themselves (and their families) in harms way by having unprotected sex. What rubbish?!!

What’s frightening is that you now can’t tell who is gay or on the down-low. People think that the typical gay man is the flaming queen, over-accessorised, probably wearing a overly tight cut-up shirt while rolling his eyes at you saying:”Girl, that dress is fierce honey.” Nope. Those are the ones who are free with their sexuality and have already come out of the closet. Plenty of closet gays range from your local mechanic, bankers to highly paid rappers, movie-stars and athletes in every genre of sports…

I know that women also have to be proactive: getting tested, using protection. But I have seen chicks dropped their panties at the drop of a hat for a certain guy who has been eyeing them for a while. Even worse, for musicians and pro-ballers just because they got passes to the V-I-P section in a club and were kickin’ it with them. Yes those people have a very larger than life presence about them but, do you know where or who’s been with from the last town?! Style-up ladies! He may be all that and a bag but, once you get infected (and it doesn’t have to be H-I-V), he is definitely not going to be there with you “kickin’ it” talking about taking meds.

My stand on this is that you are responsible for your own well-being. You can’t trust anybody within or without your life. People are becoming more and more wicked by the day. Plus the usual get tested regularly, use protection and be honest with the one you share your bed with.

It’s not just an African Problem as certain people would have you believe, it’s a global issue. It’s time we stopped being quiet about this disease and openly talked about it. I know as Africans, we shun talking about anything pertaining to sex and that’s why it’s killing more and more of our people.
How many of us are honest enough to reveal our status to our partners or even go and get tested together?
Quit sweeping everything under the rug and saying that it’s a disease for gays and prostitutes, coz it ain’t.


Posted by on August 27, 2006 in Uncategorized


Have you Ever…

…Been in a situation where you break up with someone of the opposite sex and you were not actually going out in the first place?

A few weeks ago at a party…

I was sitting outside with a few friends and a not-so-sober pal who was upchucking her meal of the day. Minding my own business, this guy approaches me and starts small talk. He was well presented and seemed to know how to hold a strait conversation. He was clearly much different from the rest of the guys in the party- who were too drunk to afford manners. The talk was going on well until he whips out his cell phone and proceeds to ask for my number.
Now I have a policy about giving out my digits, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

I tried to weasel my way out of giving out my number but he was soo instant that it was getting embarrassing. I didn’t have my phone with me coz my purse was big enough to hold a stick of gum and lipgloss. So I told him to write down his number and I will call him but, he wouldn’t have it.
Finally, I caved in and he punched in my numbers and then proceeds to call the number to make sure it’s not the number to the local police station. When he hears my voice mail he hangs up and then smiles at me and says, “You can now save my number.”
I give him a weak smile.

After a few moments of awkward silence… I decide to head back indoors and retrieve my other pal who is clearly having himself a jolly ol’ time and tell him that I’m leaving. Unbeknownst to me, the ‘guy with my number’ is hot on my trails asking me who am I looking for with such gusto. I murmur something to the effect of, “a good friend I came with.”
I meet my friend who gets he is clearly looking upset after I brief him that not only am I leaving but that I need him to direct me out of this place (coz God knows which part of the world we were in).
The ‘guy’ is still following me like a lost puppy and it’s beginning to get on my last nerves. He seemed to get upset if any other guys talked to me. How do I know that? Well he seems to appear in the midst of every chat I was having with any guy. Now y’all know that when Kenyans are saying bye to each other, no matter the occasion whether it’s a party or at the bus-stop, the process takes about an hour or so. I’m doing my goodbye laps and he is clicking at my heels. So very annoying!
When he sees that I am on my way out, he also states that he too is on his way out and would like to walk me to my car, which I politely refuse. I mean WTH?!!I don’t know you like that for you to be giving me a push to my mots (LOL). I will take my chances with the patrolling cops around the neighborhood.

Twenty minutes later, I am still on the road and the only thing keeping me awake is some random radio station I tuned to that is playing Contemporary Christian Rock music.
Ring ring goes my phone.
The number looks strange:

“Hello” I say with a bored voice.
“Hey Kelitu. It’s H. I was calling to see if you had gotten home already.”
“Nah, still on the road.”
“So can we meet today, for lunch or a drink?”
It was about 3am.
“Uhh, I don’t think that will be possible. I have other things to do.”
“Oh, you know I am just sitting here thinking about you. There something special about you. I would like to spend some time with you. Your the 1st Kenyan chic who I have met that is different.” He says. Apparently mamas from his country of origin (South of the Jamhuri border) happen not to have that certain ‘Je n’ai ce quas?!’ ‘cuse me french.

*Thoughts running thru my head when he said this* “Okay, WTH?!! What are you now? A freaking talent agent?! Spending 10 minutes talking with me doesn’t define who I am. And who says I wanna spend time with you?”

So I decided to put this guy out of his misery and proceed to inform him that I am seeing someone. To which he asks.”Is he Kenyan?”
WTH?!! Kwani I can’t date a non-kenyan?
“Actually, he is not Kenyan?” I reply.
“Oh okay, coz even me, I’m seeing someone too.” he says.
“Oh and she is okay with you seeing other people?” I ask
“Well, we are kinda going thru a rough patch.” he says.

Boy oh boy, if I had a nickel for everytime I have heard that line…mmm, mmm, mmm.

“Look, if you recall I did not want to give you my number in the beginning because of this but you kept insisting. I don’t want you getting any ideas that anything could happen.”

Silence on the other end of the phone.

“Look H I gotta go, I am about to hit a drop zone and my phone will disconnect. So good nite.”
“Okay, Kelitu. Good nite.”

I almost threw my phone out the window in disgust…Where is a prepaid phone when you need one?

The next day, H keeps calling my phone non-stop. I’m at a house party and I clearly don’t have time to be dealing with his stories.

The following week was a repeat of the weekend, him calling non-stop using different numbers. Finally by the end of the week, he pages me and I return the call steaming.

“Hey Kelitu. You are so hard to get hold off.”
“Yeah well, I’m a busy person.”
“So the weekend is here, can we meet?”
“Look H. I told you, I’m seeing someone and I don’t think that it would be right to do that behind his back.”
“Why don’t I call you after work…”
“No, there’s nothing that you would tell me that would change my mind.” I interject before he is done,
“No please, let me call you…”
“No please don’t call me.” I respond. “Good Bye.”

I felt bad that it came to this. I was feeling soo drained dealing with him. But I wasn’t feeling him like that. Did I lead in on? But how? Talking about work related issues is a come-on nowadays?

I did not hear from him for several days, then he pops up again. Calls and leaves some sobby message that I should call him back and stuff…arrghh!! Okay that’s one character that is not good on a man who is trying to score with me. If I’m not feeling you. I think you have to be intelligent enough to read in between the lines. I don’t have to spell everything out to you.
Hopefully H will lose my number sometime soon coz I’d hate to have to read him out.


Posted by on August 20, 2006 in Uncategorized


Yeah for me!

It’s been 6 months of blogging and I have been enjoying myself thoroughly.

I know people wait till 12 months roll on by before they celebrate a blog anniversary but knowing me this is feels like 2 years.

I am not a born writer (like Acolyte- kwani you have secret stash of Popeye’s spinach?).

I prefer chatting face to face. Like to read peoples’ facial emotions.

One thing I have come to like about blogging is the being ‘annoymous’ part. That way I can spew crap and non-crap without fear of someone I know going like “Geez Kelitu, kumbe you felt like that?!”
Y’all know how judgmental Kenyans be…
Then I have to start defending myself to my Pastor about having issues…uh-uh!

As I look forward to 6 more months, I hope to Acolyte will send me some of his secret stash so that I can be dropping new entries like flies. If not, oh well at least write a book about it- i’ll buy it, photocopy and return.

3 Cheers for me and thank you to the KBW familia that has dropped by and said something. Auuu! I feel loved.

Now I’m off to the new Spanish restaurant near diggz for Kuku porno (yes you heard right…they grill that kuku to perfection…as E-Sir would say. ‘Si usare.”) Woi!
Fab weekend everyone.


Posted by on August 18, 2006 in Uncategorized



So it’s s slow, extremely slow Friday. Nothing to do in the office other than play solitaire (the bosses are away)…hurray!!

Random thots of the day:

So if you had plans of snatching up Beyonce’s man, think again. Beyonce will scream in your ear and give you a headache- (well she is from the ‘burbs of Houston and so cannot hold her own in a cat fight). Bey is slamming her mini-me Rihanna (aka Rihyonce)on her song ‘Ring the Alarm’ or so insiders say. I don’t know why she is complaining because compe ni compe roho safi. Her mantra is that she will not leave her man(who is a certified playboy) because he buys her things. WTH?!! You will stay with a dog coz you don’t want the next chic to end up wearing a chincilla coat?? (Thank God for the agriculture classes i had in primary school, i can skin the rabbit myself and make that damn coat!). Plus Bey ain’t that much of an angel herself. I say, let them duke it out and may the best blonde weave…ahem, girl win!

Oprah is still trying to convince everyone and herself that she is strait. LOL! Oprah please!! Trying to attach Steadman to your side with crazy-glue ain’t gonna make us beleivers. Your tales are legendary!!

So Diddy is a daddy for the 3rd time running. Only this time it’s a baby girl. The person i feel sorry for is Kim Porter who is such a doormat for that man, it’s amazing how she is able to walk upright. It was worse when he dumped her for a public affair with J-Lo and went on to make 2 songs about her after they broke-up, then he goes on and has a kid with some chick…DAMN!! That’s gotta hurt.

Once in a while i will tune to Capitalfm and get to know what’s all going on in the motherland. I gotta say, that station has changed alot…and not for the best. The presenters hardly have any personality. Has someone ever told them that it’s radio and not tv so we can’t see them?! So the personality has to be on point so that the listeners can get the picture in their minds. First off those accents they have on? They have got to go. WTH?!! It’s not British nor American. Who coaches those people?! I miss those days of Phil, Zain, Bob and Jo. Now that was some good radio. You would laugh your heart out and enjoy some good music. Now i will pay them $20 just to keep quiet and play music non-stop.

On my way to the bank today, i came across a fatal accident. The guy had been on a bike-with no helmet- and he had been hit from the back and was lying dead on the side of the road. I got shivers when i saw that. I feel sorry for his family. Be safe out there people, you only have one life.

After hanging out in the office for 3 hours staring into space, it’s finally time to go home!!! Enjoy your weekend.


Posted by on August 11, 2006 in Uncategorized


Being Real

At what point in the relationship do you unveil your real self?

Well that was the question asked on a talk radio show. The host said that she can pretend to be someone else for about 7 months before dropping the act. A bunch of people called in and gave different views ranging from 3 months to the second after you get married/ have a baby.

I don’t have a clear cut answer for that. All i know is that aat this point in my life, pulling an act is waaaaay overboard for me. Yeah it was cute when i was 20 and trying to impress a certain bloke, but now…hell to the nah!! I am what i am and if you don’t like it, well honey, keep it moving.

Don’t get me wrong, i wont cuss you out or show up for the date with rollers on my head, a mud pack on my face and a nightgown. Nah! I’m get cleaned up and act right but, i will be strait up with you, no clowning.

If i don’t like mountain climbing, i will let you know before you set me up on a trek to Nandi hills.
I don’t get it when chicks/ guys pretend to like something the other person likes so as not to ‘rock the boat’ early in the relationship and then later on when they are married and stuff, they drop the ball that they were just doing it to please you. Arrghhh! The hell…??!!

I know you have to be accomodating and all that in the begining and it’s always good to try new things. But if i know that in my heart of hearts i vowed never to eat calamari (that’s squid for those of you about to reach for the dictonary). And trying to take me to a fancy four star French/Italian restaurant doesn’t mean i will change my mind about it. Uh-uh, pass me the fried chicken and the hot sauce please!

Another part of being real that was discussed is farting…yes and men let it be known that:
1) Don’t try to defend your fart, it does stink!!
2) No, i am not going to fart infront of you as pay back.
3) No , i don’t believe that the last fart you did just ponyokad (slipped out)while you were holding it in.

Of course the men who called in had no problem whatsoever with their reckless farting all over the place.

It’s bad enuff trying to enter a bathroom 5 minutes after a man has been in there for almost a lifetime, but having you farting at every opportunity you get when we are chilling coz im now your babe and we cool like that(plus the fact that you will be blaming those tacos and burritos you ate at lunch) ain’t gonna fly with me.
Don’t be messing up my sofa or bedsheets…eeeww!!
My opinion is if you gotta do it do it in the bathroom or when you are in your own space. Don’t try to choke me to death with your toxic nerve gas release all the while singing for me the Jah rule/ J-Lo song: “I’m real.”


Posted by on August 8, 2006 in Uncategorized