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Being Real

08 Aug

At what point in the relationship do you unveil your real self?

Well that was the question asked on a talk radio show. The host said that she can pretend to be someone else for about 7 months before dropping the act. A bunch of people called in and gave different views ranging from 3 months to the second after you get married/ have a baby.

I don’t have a clear cut answer for that. All i know is that aat this point in my life, pulling an act is waaaaay overboard for me. Yeah it was cute when i was 20 and trying to impress a certain bloke, but now…hell to the nah!! I am what i am and if you don’t like it, well honey, keep it moving.

Don’t get me wrong, i wont cuss you out or show up for the date with rollers on my head, a mud pack on my face and a nightgown. Nah! I’m get cleaned up and act right but, i will be strait up with you, no clowning.

If i don’t like mountain climbing, i will let you know before you set me up on a trek to Nandi hills.
I don’t get it when chicks/ guys pretend to like something the other person likes so as not to ‘rock the boat’ early in the relationship and then later on when they are married and stuff, they drop the ball that they were just doing it to please you. Arrghhh! The hell…??!!

I know you have to be accomodating and all that in the begining and it’s always good to try new things. But if i know that in my heart of hearts i vowed never to eat calamari (that’s squid for those of you about to reach for the dictonary). And trying to take me to a fancy four star French/Italian restaurant doesn’t mean i will change my mind about it. Uh-uh, pass me the fried chicken and the hot sauce please!

Another part of being real that was discussed is farting…yes and men let it be known that:
1) Don’t try to defend your fart, it does stink!!
2) No, i am not going to fart infront of you as pay back.
3) No , i don’t believe that the last fart you did just ponyokad (slipped out)while you were holding it in.

Of course the men who called in had no problem whatsoever with their reckless farting all over the place.

It’s bad enuff trying to enter a bathroom 5 minutes after a man has been in there for almost a lifetime, but having you farting at every opportunity you get when we are chilling coz im now your babe and we cool like that(plus the fact that you will be blaming those tacos and burritos you ate at lunch) ain’t gonna fly with me.
Don’t be messing up my sofa or bedsheets…eeeww!!
My opinion is if you gotta do it do it in the bathroom or when you are in your own space. Don’t try to choke me to death with your toxic nerve gas release all the while singing for me the Jah rule/ J-Lo song: “I’m real.”

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8 Comments

Posted by on August 8, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

8 responses to “Being Real

  1. Movie Buff

    August 9, 2006 at 09:23

    You are so right. In the beginning its cute to pretend you like watching College Basketball but after a while, you need to stop yourself…. be real with you and then the rest will follow….. No need in forcing issues.

    I refuse to even discuss the whole farting issue…… GROSS!

     
  2. The Devious One

    August 9, 2006 at 09:31

    With me what you see is what you get and I expect the same from my intended victim…as or the farting…give me some time to adjust to you before unleashing them gastro intestinal gases. Jus dont do it on date number one !

    People ( looks at Buff ) whats wong with farting ??

     
  3. spicebear

    August 10, 2006 at 01:09

    even worse is when they think the farting (and belching) is funny. then they wonder why you “don’t get it”. ugh, i’m having a horrible flashback. moving on.

    i guess the real you comes out in bits and pieces. so that by the time the bad comes (the dude farting and belching, the chile not shaving her legs) the other person is okay with it.but don’t pretend to be nice then shortly the jamaa is threatening to fight any male who talks to you and the chile is doing chewing gum revenge* cos she found out he dared to call another girl.

    *chewing gum revenge= finding the softest chewing gum known to man then putting it everywhere. under his wipers, in the key hole of his car and apartment. on his pillow case. inside those expensive shoes. the possibilities are endless!

     
  4. kelitu

    August 10, 2006 at 11:56

    Spicebear, you may need to see a therapist abou that gum chewing revenge, you sound like you have done it…recently. LOL!
    What happened to them good ol’ days of just keying his car and letting out the air off his tyres?!

     
  5. kelitu

    August 10, 2006 at 11:59

    Devious one: Okay at what point do do you get that comfy that unleashing becomes the norm?

    Movie Buff: What’s worse is when you have to being draggged to Gymkhana to watch cricket, all the while looking very clueless and sticking out like a sore thumb.

     
  6. The Devious One

    August 10, 2006 at 12:27

    @ kelitu…ati Gymkhana looooooooooool I sooo had forgotten about that, yenyewe sports is not my cup of tea and thats a little fact I let be known from the get go before the kijidude of jambazi starts making mipangos of going to watch AFC or Gymkhana !

    @ Spicebear..the revenge plot for gum is duly noted… raw fish placed under the hood and esp during summer will do wonders and smelly wonders for that matters, the person cannot asha AC or even bear to be in the car !!

    ahem…how do I know this ( shifts eyes nervously ) I read this in Wikipedia.

    Thats my story and I’m sticking to it !!

    PS
    and its a coincidence that my hands smell of fish !!

     
  7. kelitu

    August 11, 2006 at 15:12

    devious one you need to be on the therapist’s couch right next to Spicebear…were do you guys get these ideas from…ati wikipedia LOL! Nikishikwa i will blame y’all.

     
  8. spicebear

    August 17, 2006 at 03:44

    i’m back from my trip and i’m here to say in my defense … it’s wikipedia! promise! ask devious. and what all these big g wrappers are doing scattered around me i don’t know …

     

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