Dis & Dat

Just when i thot i was out in the clear…(insert dramatic music!)

So, my lover and i (yes i am using that term losely here, trying to drum up some exotic excitement…) we broke up. Or rather i broke-up with him, um, in my head. I mean hear me out. If i don’t nip this thing in the bud- in my head- whatever i say with my mouth is null and void, because mentally i need to be fully convinced that it is over before i can actually see him and let him know.
I don’t break-up over the phone. I have done it before but if the guy is a cutie and great in bed, i do it in person, just incase i may be in the mood for some good-bye loving…LOL!
It’s been quite a daunting task seeing that i like him and stuff but, we both want different things and i don’t feel like i can be myself and be free with him (sexually or other) when i don’t exactly know how he really feels. Coz the brother could be telling me what i want to hear so that he can get himself some nookie… and like Ciara says:”Goodies are staying in the jar.”

I had a celebrity spotting earlier this week: Jaheim (if you consider him a celeb). He came to a beauty shop that i had accompanied my pal to to get her hair did. Mmm… he could pass for a lugha dude any day (no offense to lunjes!). This is my second celebrity spotting in a hair shop- last time, it was Nas and boy is he a small man! Didn’t recognize him at first.

And finally i am digging the music by Robin Thicke. Check him out at http://www.robinthicke.com/watch. I esp love his song “Lost without you”
Sing baby,sing!

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Quarter life-crisis

Got this in my mailbox and how true!
Enjoy!

They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along
with
the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about
yourself
that you didn’t know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or
two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends
that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest
people you
have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most
important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that
too
and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they
are as
confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you
would be
doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going
to
have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the
same
people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they
weren’t so
great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you
want
and do not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find
yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize
that you
have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of
what is
acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest
force
of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change
is the
enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon
realize
that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing
to
do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such
damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone
decent
enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone
else
too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a
bad
person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting
wasted
and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk
with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for
yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d
just
like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are
in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can
to
figure this whole thing out.