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Monthly Archives: June 2006

Blog tagged

After being tagged by Spicebear. Here goes me:

1)I am a tvnista by heart. Normaly i cram the Primetime line-up of several tv shows. That way i’m able to watch two or three shows at the same time. In this age of TiVo, i still love to watch my shows live rather than record and watch later.

2) I love to laugh. I always look for laughter in everything. When i mean laugh i don’t mean those slight chuckles or nervous laughter that people have. I am talking a good hearty belly ribs-aching laugh that starts all the way from the toes. Sometimes i will remember something funny i heard or read somewhere and i will burst out laughing while i am trying to fall asleep and then i have to wake-up and sit on the bed until the episode passes otherwise i will not be able to fall asleep.

3) I can’t eat without first washing the pots and pans i used to prepare the meal. There’s something about dirty dishes in the sink while eating that puts me off. I do the same thing when i visit my pals. I will volunteer to wash the dishes before i sit down to eat.

4)I once trimmed my eyelashes just to get to one pesky lash that kept on getting into my eye. Boy did i look weird after that! I had to put on tons of mascara after that and wore shades thruout till they grew back. My eyes looked much larger than normal and kept feeling the wind in my eyes. Never did that again.

5) When i sleep i rotate on the bed. I first start off on my left side then turn to onto my belly, then turn to my right side and then on my back. And i do this all night.Oh and all this time i have wrapped myself like a mummy leaving only space for the nose (effects of coming from a mosquito-based area).
I also fidget for about 30-45 mins before i quiet down right after i enter bed. This usually surprises anyone who tries to share my bed.

6) When i sleep on a foreign bed i never fully fall sleep, i keep waking up evey 2 hours. I normally carry a leso to put on the pillow as a reminder of my home so as to calm my senses. If it’s an impromtu sleepover, i will put the top i was wearing on the pillow as a substitute.

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Posted by on June 27, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

Just for laughs!

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????…..

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Q: What’s the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO ?
A: I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn’t ask for directions .

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink…

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”
“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

He said – “Shall we try swapping positions tonight?”
She said – “That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.”

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour!

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals”

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

Alex

Does one ever recover from the traumas suffered in childhood?

I don’t know. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. One thing I do know is that you never forget what happened and who did it to you.

So back in the day when I was a young’un with only a lunchbox and juice bottle to my name, I had this boy in my class who in the course of 7 months caused me sooo much anguish.

His name was Alex.

Alex already had a body bigger than most boys in my class. He was scary looking too: like a young version of Busta Rhymes…I kid you not. He was a Tzdian by nationality and the worst part was that he liked me…A LOT!

You see when I was growing up then, unlike today, having a boyfriend or rather confessing your feeling about someone when you were not yet old enough to vote was unheard of, sort of taboo.

So here I am in 3rd grade and this boy is going round telling everyone in my class that I am his girlfriend. I have no clue what that word meant but I didn’t like it tagged on to me esp when I had not asked in the 1st place.

At first when I heard the fununuz going round, I denied them and continued doing my coloring. Which I was pretty good at. Coloring within the lines was my specialty.
I kept on ignoring Alex’s moves towards me.

1) If he was planning to talk to me during breaktime I would run off with my best friend to the girls’ swings where he would not dare come close.

2) During assembly (thank God I was made a prefect after a few months so I did not have to hold hands with the boys to and from in the lines).
Alex would wait and see where I was position in the line and then come and cut the guy I was holding hands with so that it would me and him. Sometime I refused to hold his hand other times, I would give him the cuff of my sweater to hold and turn my face the other way so that I would not have to look at him.

3) During hometime I would make sure I was in a group (because I had informed a few people to be my bodyguards) LOL! That way he he would not try to zindi me home (they used to live across the street from us so which literally ruined my chances of hepaing him every single day).

This went on for about 2 semesters. The more I ingored him and tried to shake him off my trail the more persistant he became. It was soo stressful going to school knowing that Alex was going to be there. I would pray that he would fall sick and not show up…alas! He used to be among the 1st people I would see when I entered the class. I could not tell my parents about it…please that is like the least of their worries, they have hungry mouths to feed. I did not have any evidence to take to my teacher about it, I mean he wasn’t shaking me for my lunch money,he wanted me for lunch! LOL!
He tried to buy me mabuyus and kashataz as a way of appeasing me but I still did not want anything to do with him.
Things came to a head one day when my one of my close friends told me that there was a picture of me in the boys bathroom with Alex doing tabia mbaya. I sprung into action so fast it would have made the Pangani Flying Squad look like retirees.
I went to the boys bathroom and lo and behold there was a stick figure of me with my name alongside it and Alexe’s stick figure next to it and they had drawn a line from his genitals-or rather where they are supposed to be on a stick figure- to mine(which indicated having sex).
I got out and went and asked around if anyone saw who had drawn that picture of me. Word got back to me that it was Alex who did it and was seen in the flesh doing it during the evening recess.

I went home and cried my eyes out. I could not believe the humiliation. After a few days of being simmering in anger I finally decided to end this harassment. I went up to him and asked him if he was the one who had drawn me in the boys bathroom. He answered in the affirmative. I asked him why he did it. He had no answer. I proceeded to give him a msomo that set his ass strait. I forced him to go to the bathroom and clean up the wall where he had drawn me and apologise to me. Oh and I went to check to see if it was done. I told him to never speak to me again…Ever in class. I he needs permission to go to the bathroom (coz I was a prefect) I was never going to give him and if he dares to disobey me I will not only staki him to the class teacher but I do have an older brother that can teach him a lesson as well.

After that incident Alex kept away from me and there were no more sightings of my stick figure in any bathroom. Later on, he transferred to God know where and I was sooo happy to be left in peace that lasted for a few years until I got to 7th grade and then another boy started professing his love…

Unlike back then when only a handful of classmates knew and class would close out at 1pm with the famous tune of: “Naskia sauti, sauti ya mama, sasa ni saa sita, kwaheri mwalimu…”
This was when I was a tweenie, puberty had kicked in and we used to stay for after school classes plus the whole stream knew about it!!

 
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Posted by on June 6, 2006 in Uncategorized