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Monthly Archives: November 2008

Your .02 cents required.

Are there 3 types of men out there??

I will speak for myself since this is how i feel/ felt when the epiphany dawned on me:

3) The Hell nah!!

This is the man that no matter what he does/ tries. You will never get with him. You are not compatible. Not only does he annoy you every-time you see him/ when he open his mouth, your libido lowers a few notches when he leans in for a hug or a kiss on the cheek, not to mention he makes you wanna bath in scalding hot water after a close encounter with him. He tends to get his courage to speak to you after a few beers always claiming his love for you and how he is doesn’t understand why y’all are not together (read married). Then he starts to plead his case once again, making the whole conversation uncomfortable and you are standing there wishing someone would yell “Fire!!!” just so you can cut loose.

Some in this group include stalkers (some), that annoying boy in primary school who used to have a thing for you, that perv of shopkeeper who gave you free candy, the makangaz who gave you free sarez.

2) Hot Damn!

Now this is the guy, your mother warned you about. He has sex appeal oozing even from his nose hairs. Just standing next to him causes sparks of electricity to fly between you two. Your words get stuck in your throat and got to swallow hard and clear your throat several times before you speak all the while saying a silent prayer. You cannot look at him too long for fear of losing your sanity and clothes at the same time. It could be below 0Farenheit, and you will be sweating up a summer storm!!

A hug from him makes your privates tingle and throb at the same time. You make it  point of walking past him several times (going to get a drink, making a call, going to the ladies, hell just any damn thing that will make you strut like Naomi Campbell!!), making him size you up and you are loving every minute you distract him while he is in a conversation with his boys (double score if it’s with some skank who is pushing up on him!!!)

When you finally kiss (that is if you ever do), your mind goes blank and all the kissing skills you claim to possess are clearly M.I.A. And you go home in a daze and can’t think strait for the rest of the night.

He is a time bomb waiting to explode.

Include everyone you know who fits the bill…including yourself. 😉

1)Mr. Mr

He is the perfect guy. Knows what to say and when to say to make you smile. The sex is okay/ great (on special ocassions) . He adores you and thinks the whole world of you. He is slightly boring since he doesn’t get over-excited on the daily (unless it’s sports).

Has a steady job, pays his bills,pretty stable and reliable. Ocassionally hangs out with the guys on the weekends and has a few beers. You are with him because he is a safe bet. Plus you know that he will make a nice husband and father to your kids (unlike Hot Damn who could be having several baby mamas, some of which he may not be aware). He keeps his jealousy well hidden especially when he sees you interacting with guys who are still trying their hand to get at you. He may not be what you envision growing up (thanx Mills & Boons) but he makes you happy and that is what counts…. or does it?!!

Includes current husband, boyfriend, fiance… or (one you dumped for Hot damn).

 
4 Comments

Posted by on November 11, 2008 in Relationships

 

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Here’s the deal…

If you are going to do something, i need you to do it wholeheartedly!!!

I had this stalker, but now he is slacking on the job, and not stalking me the way a stalker is suppose to. I have to say, i ain’t pleased.

See this guy would be lurking waiting for me to pop up and then we would chat and talk and laugh and then i would off on my merry way. But for the last week i have noticed he has not been diligent.

Come to find out he done up and went and got himself a date. I mean what the hell??!!And he thinks this shit is cute, busy telling me “i think i done found the one, so i’m taking baby steps.”

*pukes*

If you are stalking someone, you do not have the time to be getting into relationships and junk, you are busy stalking. Boy am i steamed!! How are you suppose to give me 100% attention (wanted /unwanted) when you busy wining and dining other women??!!

Therefore, i’m putting the word out that i’m looking for a dedicated stalker who will give me his all. Blood, sweat and guts.  I need commitment y’all, some dedicated to the cause.

If this applies to you please do not hesitate to start stalking. I’m waiting…

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2008 in Annoying, Rant, Relationships

 

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