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Category Archives: Relationships

What say you?

I was reading this article on how pro-athletes get plenty of play ass a result of… well being a pro-athlete. You could be buck-tooth ugly and just because you are a pro, women will be fawning all over you and even tell you how they would love to suck on your buck tooth cause it’s all sexy and stuff!!

Groupies are in every aspect of society, it’s the amount that varies. So don’t think it’s only Kobe who is getting ass, the chupa na ndebe guy is as well (on a small scale though).

The groupies are tenacious in trying to snag themselves a baller.

It must be hard to remain faithful, don’t you think? If you are getting women throwing themselves at you CONSTANTLY, every where you go!!! And you know these women come dressed in next-to-nothing type of clothing and are more than willing to bend over and show you a sample sale of the goodies even before you decide if you wanna be with her or not.

If you got approached by women/ men (i am being liberal here!)  who have killa bodies with food-stamp faces (aka butta face), would you budge? If she was hot body and face except for the ashy elbows and knees, you’d you give her a second glance?

Now my question to you is, are you as faithful as your options?

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2 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2009 in All things sex-related, Relationships

 

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Don’t click if you are easily offended!!

LMAO!!!

Please, this is strait up X-rated talk…. NSFW!!!!

Hillarious….NSFW!!!!

Hillarious 2… NSFW!!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on April 14, 2009 in All things sex-related, Relationships

 

To fart or not to fart…

Now that is one loaded question.

Okay, so at what point do you get comfy farting in the presence of your significant other? I am not talking about married folk, coz after you say your I DO’s…  invest in a gas mask.

*insert Darth Vader breathing sound effects*

I heard some celeb say after 3 months, it’s okay to let it rip… but c’mon you know 3 months in celeb world= 5 years!!

It’s best to handle the biz in the bathroom but it’s kinda hard, esp when the two of you are kicking it.  You tend to keep going to the bathroom, let one out, come out and on the way back, feel the need to let out another one. So that’s where you get to squatting (while exhaling) in the bathroom and let all them little extra bubbles go.  Ahhhhh sweet relief!!

But sooner rather than later, once you get back to couch cuddling, you feel the need to gas up one more time. And now it’s annoying coz the movie can’t keep getting paused every time! So you hold it in till you feel the need to take a pee… not a good idea coz then a storm starts brewing… below. And it’s only a matter of time before disaster strikes. God forbid, a make out session starts while you are in this predicament and your thigh gets lifted….*explosion sound effects*

So i need your two cents in the gas jar….

How long does the charade need to last before the real weapons of mass destruction are unearthed?!

 
 

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Your .02 cents required.

Are there 3 types of men out there??

I will speak for myself since this is how i feel/ felt when the epiphany dawned on me:

3) The Hell nah!!

This is the man that no matter what he does/ tries. You will never get with him. You are not compatible. Not only does he annoy you every-time you see him/ when he open his mouth, your libido lowers a few notches when he leans in for a hug or a kiss on the cheek, not to mention he makes you wanna bath in scalding hot water after a close encounter with him. He tends to get his courage to speak to you after a few beers always claiming his love for you and how he is doesn’t understand why y’all are not together (read married). Then he starts to plead his case once again, making the whole conversation uncomfortable and you are standing there wishing someone would yell “Fire!!!” just so you can cut loose.

Some in this group include stalkers (some), that annoying boy in primary school who used to have a thing for you, that perv of shopkeeper who gave you free candy, the makangaz who gave you free sarez.

2) Hot Damn!

Now this is the guy, your mother warned you about. He has sex appeal oozing even from his nose hairs. Just standing next to him causes sparks of electricity to fly between you two. Your words get stuck in your throat and got to swallow hard and clear your throat several times before you speak all the while saying a silent prayer. You cannot look at him too long for fear of losing your sanity and clothes at the same time. It could be below 0Farenheit, and you will be sweating up a summer storm!!

A hug from him makes your privates tingle and throb at the same time. You make it  point of walking past him several times (going to get a drink, making a call, going to the ladies, hell just any damn thing that will make you strut like Naomi Campbell!!), making him size you up and you are loving every minute you distract him while he is in a conversation with his boys (double score if it’s with some skank who is pushing up on him!!!)

When you finally kiss (that is if you ever do), your mind goes blank and all the kissing skills you claim to possess are clearly M.I.A. And you go home in a daze and can’t think strait for the rest of the night.

He is a time bomb waiting to explode.

Include everyone you know who fits the bill…including yourself. 😉

1)Mr. Mr

He is the perfect guy. Knows what to say and when to say to make you smile. The sex is okay/ great (on special ocassions) . He adores you and thinks the whole world of you. He is slightly boring since he doesn’t get over-excited on the daily (unless it’s sports).

Has a steady job, pays his bills,pretty stable and reliable. Ocassionally hangs out with the guys on the weekends and has a few beers. You are with him because he is a safe bet. Plus you know that he will make a nice husband and father to your kids (unlike Hot Damn who could be having several baby mamas, some of which he may not be aware). He keeps his jealousy well hidden especially when he sees you interacting with guys who are still trying their hand to get at you. He may not be what you envision growing up (thanx Mills & Boons) but he makes you happy and that is what counts…. or does it?!!

Includes current husband, boyfriend, fiance… or (one you dumped for Hot damn).

 
4 Comments

Posted by on November 11, 2008 in Relationships

 

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Here’s the deal…

If you are going to do something, i need you to do it wholeheartedly!!!

I had this stalker, but now he is slacking on the job, and not stalking me the way a stalker is suppose to. I have to say, i ain’t pleased.

See this guy would be lurking waiting for me to pop up and then we would chat and talk and laugh and then i would off on my merry way. But for the last week i have noticed he has not been diligent.

Come to find out he done up and went and got himself a date. I mean what the hell??!!And he thinks this shit is cute, busy telling me “i think i done found the one, so i’m taking baby steps.”

*pukes*

If you are stalking someone, you do not have the time to be getting into relationships and junk, you are busy stalking. Boy am i steamed!! How are you suppose to give me 100% attention (wanted /unwanted) when you busy wining and dining other women??!!

Therefore, i’m putting the word out that i’m looking for a dedicated stalker who will give me his all. Blood, sweat and guts.  I need commitment y’all, some dedicated to the cause.

If this applies to you please do not hesitate to start stalking. I’m waiting…

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2008 in Annoying, Rant, Relationships

 

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Get that monay honay!

I am a proud member of a website that is full of women without morals… hehehe.

Yep, i ventured over to the dark side.

The website is made up of women who sleep with men for money… oh wait, make that rich men for money and ain’t ashamed of it.

I stumbled about it a while back and i loved really all these sordid details these women who have slept with wealthy and sometimes famous men and some have even slept with the same men… i know i know… i LOVE it!!

So one time someone posted a question asking if you are sleeping with a guy for money(gold-digging) why not become a prostitute? Well lemme just say that people got to typing hard defending their ways of earning a living.

One lady stated that the difference btwn being a pro and a gold-digger is that she gets diamonds, trips and designer bags, trips, access to call him (aka priviledges). SOmething call-girls don’t get.

Another said that she is working her way up to getting wifed by one of her rich regulars (apparently, they love her).

Another stated that it’s called the pussy hustle and people shouldn’t hate on women who want to lay on their backs and get money and things by sleeping instead of a regular 9-5 job. A hustle is a hustle apparently, whether on foot or on your knees. 😉

Another said, “Why even bother trying to form like this fake relationship when all you want is money. You’re going to sleep with him plenty of times anyway why no just go ahead and get paid for it everytime.”

Then another said, ” closed legs don’t get fed.” This quote had me on the floor laughing.
So my question to you readers and lurkers, is their a difference btwn a call-girl and a gold-digger? I mean they all tried to get some bread, so why not dig for gold with the coochie?

P/S: Archer don’t talk about my blog design, i will shank back space you!! 🙂

 
7 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2008 in Relationships

 

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Riddle me this….

Why is it that when a guy realizes that you have moved on they try to make a reconnection?

Case in point, there this one guy who after i told him how i felt about him, he shut me down big time!! We had been messing around for a while back when we broke-up from his fiance and i needed someone to scratch my mini-itch going on.

Don’t boo-hoo for me, i finally got over him and moved on to a waaaayyy better and healthy relationship.

Before we went our separate ways, i had gotten some movies from him and even forgot about them

So he texts me 3 weeks ago, requesting that i return his movies. This was after asking me to return them like 2 months ago but our schedules were not clicking.The one time i had an evening to spare, not only did he want me to return the movies but accompany him for a night movie. I quickly shut down that offer and made up some story about having plans. I didn’t want to be in the same enclosed space with him.

Here’s the deal about the last time we went to the moves, i paid and he said that he would pick up the tab next time around. Anyway, we never watched much of it…. (fill in the gaps).  Avoiding temptation pit-falls at all costs.

After a few deep breaths, i decide we meet in a public parking lot, in broad daylight.  Boy am i glad!! The minute i saw him i was sooo grateful i moved on. He looked washed up!! Thank God that brand of weed i was smoking got recalled!! We chatted for a bit and i was on my merry way.

This past weekend, he texts me with some information i needed. Then he turns the story to we need to go for a movie… huh?!! “you know i owe you one bla bla bla…”

I think to myself, “Why does he need to go to the movies with me when he still has a “not-over-relationship” with his ex, not-so-ex girlfriend?”

Some men outta get shot!!

 

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