To fart or not to fart…

13 Apr

Now that is one loaded question.

Okay, so at what point do you get comfy farting in the presence of your significant other? I am not talking about married folk, coz after you say your I DO’s…  invest in a gas mask.

*insert Darth Vader breathing sound effects*

I heard some celeb say after 3 months, it’s okay to let it rip… but c’mon you know 3 months in celeb world= 5 years!!

It’s best to handle the biz in the bathroom but it’s kinda hard, esp when the two of you are kicking it.  You tend to keep going to the bathroom, let one out, come out and on the way back, feel the need to let out another one. So that’s where you get to squatting (while exhaling) in the bathroom and let all them little extra bubbles go.  Ahhhhh sweet relief!!

But sooner rather than later, once you get back to couch cuddling, you feel the need to gas up one more time. And now it’s annoying coz the movie can’t keep getting paused every time! So you hold it in till you feel the need to take a pee… not a good idea coz then a storm starts brewing… below. And it’s only a matter of time before disaster strikes. God forbid, a make out session starts while you are in this predicament and your thigh gets lifted….*explosion sound effects*

So i need your two cents in the gas jar….

How long does the charade need to last before the real weapons of mass destruction are unearthed?!



5 responses to “To fart or not to fart…

  1. Archer

    April 13, 2009 at 15:25

    LMAO ad infinitum! Aii Shimba hills finest, kwani how many times do you shuta in a day? Letting one rip in the presence of your significant other is an absolute no no. No negotiation whatsoever. Hakuna cha we’ve been together sijui how long so I feel comfortable enough to do so. Ishnating! Go to the balcony, go to the loo, go anywhere! Just not where your S.O is. You’d be surprised at how fast his opinion of you can change.

    But then again, what happens if you or your S.O unleashes a nuclear one mid coitus, what to do?

  2. kelitu

    April 13, 2009 at 17:12

    Damn you Archer, you are forcing my hand!!

    I have had the need to let one out mid-coitus but boy oh boy, i kaaza like there’s no kesho!!! lmao!!!

    Talk about multi-tasking btwn wanting to bust a nut and not wanting to gas up my boo.

    I will have you know that i am a healthy chic who regularly farts and esp when i eat broccoli or beans i get EXTRA gassy!! So watch out… haha!

    Why do men act like chics don’t fart or poop?! Tis healthy ya know 😉

  3. nikolas

    April 14, 2009 at 07:32

    never ever ever! waaaaaaaah! hold, cut and run. fast. how do you do?

  4. p4wn3d

    April 24, 2009 at 04:22

    no no no kelitu ayee no exact notsin!

  5. ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M---

    April 24, 2009 at 10:56

    I have a friend who tells me he has to unleash some after ‘game’ he says its odourless. Isnt it gross that he tells me and I come and tell it here? Gross stuff this is

    LMAO!!!@ unleashing odorless after game.

    He nasty and you are great for letting us know


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