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Jesus be my hideout

19 Jun

I plan to quit drinking, one less drink at a time.

Apparently the fad nowadays is to drink Poland Spring at the club.
Well slap me with a jug and call me Nyambura…Im In!!

Was out and about this last weekend, after promising myself that i will not show up anywhere where i may run into “my lover”. Ha!! I laugh now!!

His bro called me on friday on his way to my lover’s for a drink to ask me what’s good, read: we need to go for another drinking sequel. I came up with tales from the crypt of how i gotta work extra hours at work over the weekend, bla bla bla…
quick someone give me their child to babysit on saturday for a nominal fee.

Then on saturday around 10pm he sends me a text, telling me that he’s thinking about me. I was like EH?!!
I mean, i wish that it was his brother who was telling me that and not him. I tell you if this nucca would style up, we would be making love more than war- coz we are always fighting about some crazy ish that don’t make sense.
So anyway, i down played those texts and then when i told him that i was stepping to go out. He then asks me if i want company…oh hell no!!
I don’t need no married with children man on my ass all damn night. He was disappointed.
Oh well…I’m now in the ministry of breaking hearts.

I get to the club and low and behold, my lover’s present. Crap!!
Now i gotta straiten up my act- read: no falling out from all the Grey Goose that i was planning on inhaling-damn!!

“Waiter, where my water at?!” Forget that, show me where the faucet be.

Here’s the weird thing about our ‘thing’:

Currently we are on the outs- (his fault of course, coz he’s got baggage like a mutha). But if he sees me getting chatted up or some dude getting too close (dancing or talking), he gets mad.
So he kept stalking me the whole night.(He would suddenly show up, standing 20feet away from me talking to some dude, pretending to be intune with their conversation but, his body is facing me and he’s stealing glances my way. Of course i’m checking him too out at the corner of my eye like: “Kula huu ndugu.”
I flip my hair, look at him and turn to the guy i’m talking to!)

Finally, i got tired of the game and went up and said “HI!”
He, in turned, acted so nonchalant like it was no biggie- i should taken out my high heels and smacked him!!…Then nursed him back to health. Damn that nucca!!

In other news, i’m done watching porn. I kid you not, either my supplier is a strait-up bum or i’m becoming asexual. Someone help me out.

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5 Comments

Posted by on June 19, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

5 responses to “Jesus be my hideout

  1. Medusa

    June 19, 2007 at 16:01

    Say Nyambura,i’ll have my daughter at yours Sato night 7:30sharp..we can nego the nominal fee. I could pay with some moto moto porn If you’d like, wachana with that girls gone wild crap you’re watching..

    About homieloverfriend..me thinks you should just run as fast..in the opposite direction, seems like recipe for heartache and tossed salad disaster.. You know, *ahem* ze rabbits shouldn’t only come out during easter..Am jus saying..jisaidie!

     
  2. kelitu

    June 20, 2007 at 11:54

    Well i sure hope your lil boo enjoys some Sound of Music/ Mary Poppins. Gotta a neighbor who can hook me up with some VHS!
    The moto moto porn is good enough payment.

    LOL! I kid you not. I can’t bring myself to buy a sunguch-yet.
    Maybe tis time.

    HLF has got me twisted in a way- maybe if his *ahem* would detach itself and some stay with me, i’d get over him faster.

     
  3. Msanii_XL

    June 22, 2007 at 10:38

    “I plan to quit drinking”

    O rly?

    btw seems like vodka fan, pick this vodka up tito’s…you will not be dissapointed.

     
  4. kelitu

    June 23, 2007 at 13:41

    Msanii i sure hope the AA meetings will move to your diggs after i’m done with the tito’s vodka

     
  5. gishungwa

    June 27, 2007 at 05:49

    and i ts bad enuf to be quit drinking and be on the full BT. Damn the demon drink. Porn, ahem…

     

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