Summer plans

26 May

Unless you live under a rock somewhere in the artic circle, summer is in full effect. Damn!! It’s hot!! Worst part- the humidity that’s slowly creeping up!!

So i decided to make summer plans, (something to do since tv sucks ass major!!)

1) Keeping the weight off– As y’all know, i done lost me a few lbs and loving it!! But i seems that i’m getting backlash. One guy pal of mine was telling me that i am getting to skinny and that i need to add on some weight! WTH?!! He’s just jealous! Infact anybody commenting that i need to add on any weight is strait-up hatin’!! Don’t hate just coz you see me crusing up and down in the two-piece bikini aisle in Target!

2)Mind my language: I’m dusting off my Mui Huwa Mwema yet again and reading it for the… oh hell, look i just need to brush up on my swa. Not that i’m losing it or anything but i can’t seem to hold a swa convo to the end without throwing in some english words. So, armed with my Kamusi and Nahau book, i’m ready to compete in a msamiati throw-down…by summer’s end.

3)Be in a meaningful relationship:This may be a bit of a stretch but, hey! a sista can dream ama?! I do want to be in relationship(no seriously don’t laugh). I have been single for a long time and well, i’m tired of getting on and off on the B-train. Need K to be constant(or is it Sex). And anyway, i need to reap the rewards of all my waxing appointments. I’m tired of the only action i’m getting lately is when i’m spreading them for the hot-wax,some wax strips and a gently tap on my leg(coz i tend to tense up) telling me: “Relax honey, or it’s gonna hurt.” Just before i hear the rip soundeffect.

4)Pay attention to my dreams: Yes i may be cuckoo for cocoa puffs when it comes to all things mystic(yes, i’m built that way)but, i did have a dream sometime back was a warning but did pay attention? Nope! Was too busy . The result- I ended up suffering some serious consequences.

5) Ease off the gas pedal: Not that i’m trying to save on gas coz at this point it’s between a decent meal or gas for my car. These gas prices are ridiculous!! I don’t know about where you live but here in the Wind-ward side of Shimbahills, it’s “We are siphoning money from you in any way we can” campaign. I tell you cops are pulling folk over for doing 26 in a 25mph zone.
And those fines are nooooooo joke!
I did find myself infront of a judge the other day pleading my violation case- crap i have never felt sooo scared in my entire life!! A flash of The OZ did come-up in my head several times while waiting to get called.
So from now on know i’m driving like grandma coz these cops are just hiding in the bushes with their speed-radars pointing out to traffic just waitng for you’re(unsuspecting,talking-on-the-cellphone-without-your-handsfree,eating,and loud-music-blasting-clearly-speeding)ass.

Have a great week y’all. I’m off to find ways to dodge this hot sun coz this SPF 60+ i got on, isn’t helping much.


Posted by on May 26, 2007 in Uncategorized


8 responses to “Summer plans

  1. Acolyte

    May 26, 2007 at 17:22

    When I was at Walmart today and saw all the chics in their halter tops and shorts I knew for sure that summer was here!
    Keep the weight off! It’s good for the looks and your health.
    Yes swa sanifu can slide away from you if you are not careful and not practising at all!
    As for being in a meaningful relationship, wachana with those ruffnecks and fisis whose drama makes them seem so interesting. Give some time to those dudes who seem kinda slow or laidback, you will be pleasantly surprised.
    Just put your dreams on paper and you will be able to remind yourself to follow them.

  2. Princess

    May 27, 2007 at 01:01

    When folks tell me I am too skinny I roll my eyes at them and say “Whatever dude!” They are just hating because you are fabulous!! I have been hoping in vain for a meaningful relationship to come my way but alas it isn’t happening anytime soon!! I love Summer!!

  3. Nakeel

    May 27, 2007 at 06:30

    Why are people hating when you dont want some extra meat popping on the side of a bikini? Go gal get that shape. Enjoy the summer.

  4. kelitu

    May 27, 2007 at 20:39

    Acolyte: Surely if you know any laid-back dudes send them my way coz over hurr it’s just strai-up wankstas and wanna bez.

    Princess: I know about all the weight hateration. Na bado!! My ass will me rocking back and forth in the skimpiest of clothes this summer.

    Nakeel: Wakwitu, thanx hon. I will keep this weight off at all costs.

  5. >d®

    May 28, 2007 at 00:38

    Nice description of your waxing ordeal – youch!

    Traffic court sucks, not doubt. I’m real good these days on the roads too. Let me rephrase that – I try to be good on the roads these days. At least we can still hold the cellies – for now – though I don’t talk on the phone while driving; as fast as I drive that would be a death wish!

  6. kelitu

    May 29, 2007 at 13:23

    >d: you guys still hold cellies…geez, we were banned long time from that but occasionally you’ll see someone talking on them hand-held ones while trying to mask it, coz that’s a $300 fine…
    yes my lawmakers also wanna ban texting while driving coz of the number of people wrapping themselves around trees as a result…at this point what’s teh use of having a car if you can do anything that makes you happy?!

  7. Aegeus

    May 30, 2007 at 10:36

    I hear you on the gas pedal. been nicked severally and i do not wish to make a cameo at the Kibera courts or Thika or whatever! HEHhehehe!! Number 3 should also be on my list…

  8. Msanii_XL

    May 30, 2007 at 13:54

    lol@Aco…with the fisis quip.

    Good summer goals


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